


Drunk Marriage Is A Funny Thing

by Ash_Raeken



Category: Batman - Fandom
Genre: Dick living up to his namesake, M/M, accidental outing of a not-yet relationship, press
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 07:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13631688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash_Raeken/pseuds/Ash_Raeken
Summary: Tim wakes up to an aching head, some random person in his bed, and some really strange videos and photos.





	Drunk Marriage Is A Funny Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there is sucky grammar, but this is my first fanfic. Sooooooo I REALLY hope you like it!! Have a nice read!

‘Ugh, my head, I must have drank way more than I thought last night, blegh- what even happened?’ Tim thought as he woke up to an increasingly loud ringing in his ears. ‘Oh this is horrible hangover treatment.’ 

He tries to reach for the glass of water next to his bedside table when, One, he realizes that he is indeed, not alone in the bed (at least the person is cute), and Two, he realizes that the ringing is coming from his phone.

‘Oh, Dick must be calling me, it is his ringtone, that makes way more sense.’ As he haphasardly reached to his bed side table where his phone is, the person, guy aperantly, groans and swats his hand away. This happened a few more time until he finally got to the phone and picked up.

“Ugh... Dick?”

“Oh my god-pffft Tim, go call Bruce, he’s—hah he’s bruding because of last night, he- hah oh my god”

“What the fuck Dick, it’s like four am-“

“It’s noon”

“-not the point, why do you want me to call Bruce??”

“Because of last night”

Oh. Well then. That explained soooo much. “Bye. Dick.” “Bye-Bye Timmy!” Ugh.

When he hung up hot guy next to him yawns and pulls him back to his side, damn, hot guy is ripped. Well ok then, he could just call Bruce later on his phone anyway, plus it’s really warm inside the covers. Might as well sleep some more.

One hour later.

When he wakes up for the second time, he decides to look through his messages, he sees a bunch of sent videos to and from him, along with a lot of text messages. Also strangely enugh, a lot of people sent him wedding ring emojis. Weird. 

He might as well check some of his texts and look at all of those videos. He decides to look at the ones from Dick first, because he has the most from him. The first video starts out mostly normal (for them) by which he means it starts out with Damian flipping (normal) off of shit and laughing (why the fuck is demon brat laughing that is not normal- wait is he drunk?) and Jon floating around to try and be a safety net (oh my god Damian was trying to impress Jon, adorable). 

Then it got weird though, because after that it zoomed into him and Jason and they were freaking MAKING OUT like holy shit isn’t that like third base or something??? After THAT Jason gets down on one knee and proposes to him with an onion ring. Then its a video of Jason and Tim in a ring store and Tim using BRUCE’S CARD to buy wedding rings. Shit. Out of all his debit AND credit cards. Bruce’s. Ugh. Even after all that crap, it cuts to the doing really weird couple shit and another sort of long clip of them at an alter exchanging rings and saying ‘I do’, before kissing. Not good. 

He decides to wake hot guy up, because damn if he is not Jason then he is a fucking cheating peice of shit. Thank god, hot guy was indeed Jason, the same Jason that he had been pinning after for years. It took a moment for everything to sink in, holy shit. Jason was pretty much naked. That meant that they probably had some smexy times. Oh wow.

Damnit he didn’t even remember the good parts. Like the maybe sex. He didn’t remember the marriage part either for that matter. “Jason, hey- Jason” he whisperes, trying to wake him up. “Wha- What’s goin’ on- whathefuck???” Jason slurs, proping himself up onto his elbows. It takes a second for him to take in all of his surroundings, but after that secound passes, he just kinda looks dazed.

Tim waits a moment before going to shake Jason again. “Tim what the fuck am I doing in your room?” Jason says, still looking confused and double dazed. Tim stammers a bit, trying to think of something to say, until he decides to go with the flow “Um, oksoimprettysurewegotreallydrunkand Maybesortofhadmaybesortofsexbutidontreallyknowbutisortofthingwemighthavegottenmarried”

No. Bad flow. Never going with the flow again. Tim just rambled off infront of his crush-sort-of-husband. Great. Jason just kinda gives him that look of ‘what the fuck’. “Babybird your gonna have to repeat that waaay slower” Jason says, smirking. “Ok, so um, I think we got married and you know, maybe had sex and stuff” the smirk quickly turns into shock when Tim said the word ‘married’.

“And you know how?” Jason asks, sitting up all the way and looking Tim straight in the eyes, looking weirdly serious (to be honest with himself Tim thought it was really hot, like what the fuck he looks like sex like living fucking sex, Jesus). 

“Um, Dick told me to call Bruce because he was mad at something I did last night and everyone in my contacts keeps sending me marriage stuff and I got a video from Dick of you pro-proposing to me anduhstufflikethat yeah um” Tim confessed, while his sentence slowly turned into a mess of words and stutters and blushing. Great.

Jason humms and takes Tim’s hand into his own, just to see matching rings, made of pure silver with a sliver of dimond in the middle the shape of a bat. “Looks like we are married after all,” Jason grins looking a little to mischievous for Tim’s likeing. 

Suddenly Tim is pulled toward Jason, mouth mere inches away from his. “Does that mean that I can kiss you?” Jason asks, glancing quickly at Tim’s lips. “I think you already have,” Tim says, earning a huff of laughter from Jason. Nonetheless though Tim blushes and nods, slowly leaning towards Jason, all the way up until their lips touched.

Tim sighed into the kiss, curling his arms around Jason’s neck, and slowly coming to sit on top of him. They both have boxers on, and Tim has a shirt on, so Tim is comfortable sitting like this, on Jason’s lap kissing. The kiss feels natural and amazing. Like shit, Jason was amazing with his mouth. Fuck. 

Jason wraps his arm around Tim’s waist, keeping one massaging Tim’s hip. Tim moans a little into Jason’s mouth and rolls his hips into Jason. Shit that feels so good. Jason breaks the kiss and Tim lets out a pitiful little whine that he will never admit to making, until Jason starts to bite and suck onto his neck. Tim gasps and pushes into Jason even more, trying to create more friction for his ever growing erection.

Jason let’s out a low moan, and boy was that hot as fuck. Tim whimpers a little when Jason bites his collarbone one that one spot that feels so fucking good. Holy crap this is way better that any of his fantasies, and he has had a lot. God, Jason feels so good. Tim rugs at Jason’s hair a little so he looks up, and Tim starts to kiss him again. Jason bites his lip, drawing blood and licking it off. Tim moans and ruts against Jason harder. God he feels amazing.

Well at least he did, until the fucking doorbell rang. God damn cockblock. Jason just sighs and gently moves Tim off of his lap. God damn it. Tim just decides that he doesn’t give a shit about life anymore and goes to answer his door after getting on his Micky Mouse™️ pajama pants and Jason’s blue Superman shirt that was way to big but who the hell cares. When he opened the door, he was greeted by the ungodly sight of Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Babs, Cass, and Damian. Great.


End file.
